January 5, 2009 by jennifer
Yes, I realize I got the title backwards. That is my point. We are leaving for Israel in 4 days and I am trying to organize my thoughts and my to-do list. This is my first trip out of the country and I must say, I am excited. Nervous about leaving my kids behind for 9 days, but very excited that we have been given such an amazing opportunity. In preparation for the trip, I am scrambling. Between the daily tasks of life, I have been bombarded with ends to tie-up. I am starting to get confused at this point. Where did I put my dang passport? Did Jeremiah get phones we can be reached at in Israel? Did I call the roof guy and when is he supposed to come anyway? Did I call the kennel to make arrangements for the kids? Hold on…that can’t be right. Well, my list making has started to pay off and I am feeling a bit more organized today. I am checking one thing off at a time and considering each accomplishment a small victory. I realize that travel is completely normal for some, not so much for us. While it is becoming more common in our lives, a trip to Israel is certainly not something I have ever experienced before, but definitely something I hope to experience more than once. Maybe someday, dare I say, with the kids. When they are older and less of an airplane annoyance hazard I suppose. I love experiencing new places and things and I definitely want to pass that love on. Between now and Thursday night, I have a lot to do, but am sure Jeremiah and I will conquer it all. Forgive me if I don’t post or have much to say. My mind is very task oriented right now and that just isn’t all that fun to write about. But, there will be plenty to write about when we return from the land of milk and honey. I can’t wait. In the meantime, say a quick prayer for our safe traveling and please pray for our children. They are staying with grandparents. They will be well loved and very occupied, but please pray they know we are coming back and that they have a wonderful time with our families. And, maybe pray that I don’t cry too much when I leave them. 
Until then….
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January 1, 2009 by jennifer
Me: Breckin, tell Daddy he is crazy!
Breckin: No, I can’t tell him he is crazy.
Me: Really? Why not?
Breckin: Because, Mommy, he is still awesome.
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January 1, 2009 by jennifer
Christmas has come and gone in a flurry of excitement and wrapping paper. I am glad it is over, but also so grateful for the Christmas season. While I think the gift giving tends to be a bit much (materialism makes me crazy!), I really do think the spirit of giving is a wonderful thing. I enjoy doing things for others this time of year and I hope that my children come to enjoy passing the joy on as well. Anyway, enough about that, you came here to see cute pictures of my children, right?
The kids wearing birthday party hats for Jesus. We didn’t make a cake, but we made Him some birthday cookies instead.
I love the smile on Breckin’s face in this picture. Just love it.
Kids in matching PJ’s attacking Daddy.
This was the perfect Christmas gift from Uncle Ryan and Aunt Missy…until they figured out how to unzip it from the inside.
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December 24, 2008 by jennifer
Jeremiah and Breckin were driving today and had the following conversation.
Breckin: Daddy, I see a McDonalds. There are three McDonalds.
Jeremiah: There are a lot more than that.
Breckin: 7 McDonalds?
Jeremiah: No, more than that.
Breckin: 10 McDonalds?
Jeremiah: No. There are McDonalds’ all over the place Breckin.
Breckin: Whoa!
Later that night I was putting Breckin to bed (about 6 hours later) when he turned to me with an excited expression on his face and said: “Mommy, did you know that there are McDonalds’ everywhere?!!”
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December 24, 2008 by jennifer
Over the last few weeks we have been telling Breckin and Arwyn all about Christmas. At the beginning of December, Jeremiah told Breckin there were 22 days until Christmas. Breckin took it from there and started counting down on his own. Every single day since then, the first words out of his mouth every morning are, “Mommy, there are ___ days until Christmas!” He is really excited. And, since we think he is old enough now to really understand some of the true meaning behind Christmas, we have been talking a lot about Jesus and what He has done for us. How thankful we are, how much Jesus loves us, etc. We have talked about how Christmas is Jesus’ birthday. So, the last few days, Breckin has insisted on wearing a birthday party hat around the house (picture to come) because it is Jesus’ birthday. He keeps talking about people coming over for the party and I am pretty sure he just assumes I am going to whip up a cake for Jesus. After all, when his friends have birthdays, I make a cake. Its a natural assumption really. Even Arwyn caught on a little. Last night she was talking on the phone with my mom and told her that Christmas is baby Jesus’ birthday. Needless to say, they are excited about Christmas and since this is their first Christmas day at home, we have built it up a bit for them too. I am really excited that this Christmas, Jeremiah and I will be spending time with our kids in our own living room. So, tonight, Breckin was quite aware that when he wakes up in the morning there are zero days left until Christmas and he gets to rip open those presents! He normally falls asleep around 8-9pm. Tonight, it was more like 11:45pm. He was so excited he just couldn’t fall asleep and every time I walked passed his room he would ask me if the sun was up yet. I remember that excitement as a kid and I am so glad to see my own children experiencing it.
P.S. They did get to open one present tonight. Matching PJ’s. Pictures of that to come as well.
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December 23, 2008 by jennifer
I have been so busy as of late! Wow. Between Christmas and cakes, I have been baking non-stop. So, I haven’t had a ton of time to post my two most recent cakes. Without further ado….
A Care Bear cake for Adrienne. She turned 3 this month and loves Care Bears.
A butterfly cake for Marissa. She turned 1!
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December 22, 2008 by jennifer
I don’t remember exactly how it all started. Jeremiah and I were in so many classes together (small, small school) for years and I never really noticed him until my sophomore year. Well, I did actually notice him. He was the guy sitting in the back row of class who never said a single word. Everyone knew he was a genius, but in my mind, he was a mute genius. He never raised his hand, never spoke, so I tended to ignore him. Until we were sophomores. We became friends in our Algebra II class. It was a strange friendship, but one that I found entertaining. Then came junior year. Still friends and I even hassled him for choosing not to sit next to me in trigonometry. What was up with that? I was cute, why didn’t he worship me? (kidding) Half-way through junior year, at the ripe old age of 17, something changed. I started to like the mute genius. I had a crush. A big crush. He was so much nicer than the losers I had chosen to date before him and much smarter. I liked that our conversations were actual conversations. He was too good for me though. I knew that…everyone knew that. Everyone except Jeremiah. Foolish boy. We started dating on Dec 22, 1996. That was so long ago. I remember on one of our first dates, I looked over at him and feeling a bit disappointed thought, “It is too bad we are in high school because we will mostly likely break-up at some point (how many high school relationships actually turn into mature, great marriages…not many). That stinks because I really like him.” Little did I know that we would never part ways and he would become the love of my life. Our relationship was your typical high school relationship. I was amazed by how nice he was. So much nicer than my previous boyfriends. I would get a tinge of jealousy when he talked to another girl. I was afraid these girls would realize the secret I had discovered…that mute geniuses were the way to go. What if a girl that was actually good enough for him came along, learned what I already knew and snatched him away? That would be awful! We were in “puppy love” for a long, long time. Three years I would say. Then came the day when we both just knew. I look back on it all and wonder how we got here. God clearly intended for us to be together. It was part of His plan. We have made each other better people. Better in life and better in Christ. My insecurities vanished long ago and I no longer feel jealous when he talks to another “girl.” After all, we are bound by legal documents now! I am just so glad I have been privileged enough to take my journey on this earth with such a man. Twelve years and still kickin’. Quite happily I might add.
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December 21, 2008 by jennifer
My friend Ivy inspires me. Not only in the manner of cake making, but in her take on Christmas. I would really like to celebrate Christmas in this manner next year. Awesome Ivy, just awesome!
What Christmas should really be about.
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December 19, 2008 by jennifer
Is anyone else completely impressed while simultaneously being completely appalled by this? And not that this matters at all, but she has her babies at the same hospital Breckin was born in. I wonder if we had the same doc.
Michelle Duggar Gives Birth to 18th Child
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December 18, 2008 by jennifer
I think so often as moms, we all have a lot to deal with. We hit the ground running every morning and don’t stop until the kids are in bed. Even then, we still have a list of to dos so long that even the most ambitious of overachievers would be overwhelmed. Then, we wake up the next day to repeat the entire process without missing a beat. No sick days (but we do get sick), no lunch breaks, and we most certainly can’t go to the bathroom without someone trying to beat down the door because they can’t live one moment without us. We are moms. A high calling. An overwhelming job…a great job.
I once had a friend ask me how I “did it.” She also has two small children and somewhere along the line I had given her the impression that I had it all together. Shame on me! I quickly explained to her that I actually end most days feeling as though I could have accomplished more and a few days like I have completely and utterly failed. Some days I wonder if Jeremiah and I are doing anything right with the kids and even more often, I end the week feeling a bit worn. TGIF. But, there are those women out there that make it all seem so easy. The stepford wife. I am extremely jealous of that, then I have to remind myself that it is probably all just a facade and satan is the one telling me I am not good enough. I was talking to a friend today that said she feels the same way most of the time. It made me feel better to know I am not the only one. So, as a shout out to all the other moms out there struggling to make it through until Friday without screaming into a pillow, here are my “mommy flaws.”
1. I used to have a clean house…until I had 2 kids. Now, I look around at the end of the day and think about what truly NEEDS to be done. I loathe mopping the kitchen floor, so only do that in moments of desperation. Cleaning up for us means all of the toys laying in the kitchen or living room get thrown/kicked/shoved into the toy room. As long as they are inside those walls, I honestly don’t care. And, I have to have a relatively clean kitchen when I go to bed. I don’t want to have to clean the kitchen just to make breakfast.
2. I am a stay at home mom but I don’t love every second of it. When I read the profiles of other moms on facebook or a blog many SAHMs say, “I am a stay at home mom and I love every second of it.” That is when they get the classic Jennifer roll of the eyes that I am so famous for. I think as SAHMs we feel the need to make sure everyone knows how grateful we are for our situation. It is a great privilege that I do not take for granted. My husband works hard and for that I am extremely blessed. But, I would be lying if I said I love every second of every day. I love playing with my kids and teaching them things. I love loving them all day but have a great deal of guilt when I feel the need to vent about being a SAHM. There are also things that are hard about it that I don’t particularly love. Whining, same routine everyday, social isolation, people assuming I am a spoiled brat (or dumb) because I don’t “work” etc…I do struggle with a few of these things sometimes. But, that doesn’t mean I am not grateful. It just means my job can be a bit overwhelming at times.
3. Sometimes, I feel like I have failed my kids entirely. I wonder if we have taken the completely wrong approach. Am I too much of a pushover, am I too strict, did I pick the wrong battles, do I pray for my kids enough, do I completely suck as a mom, have I crushed their spirit?
4. I have said some mean things to my kids that I have had to humbly apologize for. I think this is where I have really felt broken as a mom. In those moments when I have said something so harsh that I instantly regret it. I see the look on their faces, I crumble and beg for forgiveness.
5. Sometimes, I put my own needs before my kids wants. Sometimes, I just need a moment to gather myself so I can be a better mom. I feel guilty doing this. Ex. If we are having a rough day, I will put Breckin in a quiet time during the afternoon for an hour while I just rest. He doesn’t nap, hasn’t for years, but I need a break. Another example, going to the gym. I do that about 3 times a week.
6. My kids watch TV. Not an insane amount, but if I need to get a meal ready and they are under my feet (screaming, whining, fighting with one another), I will most definitely turn the TV on. I also turn it on first thing in the morning so I can allow myself some time to wake up. I think it gives them a chance to wake up too.
7. Somedays, I get really cranky, really fast. And even if they aren’t being that frustrating, I am already frustrated. I lack patience. I need to work on that.
8. I am not always consistent with discipline. To be honest, sometimes, I am just too worn out to care.
9. Somedays, I just feel like this:
And, now, since I have been a complete downer thus far, some things I do well. My “mommy successes.”
1. I walk at the pace of my children and encourage them to be who they truly are. If they want to explore, I let them. If they want to walk at the pace of a freaking snail (which they most often do), I let them.
2. I try to understand their personality and embrace it as opposed to making their personality the way I want it. Jeremiah and I are very similar in this regard. Growing up, we found ourselves in circumstances where people made us do things we really didn’t like doing. I think that affected us and we are both very against doing that to our kids. We always encourage them to participate in things, but don’t make them. I have noticed they almost always come around and try it on their own, in their own time.
3. I love to play with my kids. You will rarely see them outside alone, even in the dead of winter. I am out there with my snow pants too, pulling them down the hill on a sled.
4. I love teaching my kids and reading to them. I think teaching my kids (academically) is one way I show love. I am not sure if there is a category for that love language, but I just love seeing them understand things and get excited about it. We celebrate the smallest of victories.
5. My kids know I love them more than anything because I am constantly hugging, kissing, and telling. This is funny to me because I am not an affectionate person. I am not a hugger. The kids get sick of it. Arwyn will even yell, “Don’t kiss me!” and start to cry. HA!
6. I have instilled the importance of healthy lifestyle in them. You will not find a single ho-ho or oatmeal pie in my house. It is all relatively healthy and I have tried to emphasize the importance of exercise by being an example. We go on family walks in the warmer months and even sometimes in the winter.
So, while I do some things completely wrong, I know my heart is in the right place and eventually the rest will fall into place. I trust God to guide me and keep me humble on our journey.
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